Today’s pool party is sponsored by job rejection.
One of my favorite ways to remind myself to keep it light hearted is by bringing my problems to the pool party. While people might typically tell you to leave everything (your problems) at the door, I welcome you to bring literally every single one of your bags. “Oh she’s got so much baggage with her…” Well at least she is at a fucking pool party!
Am I really writing this from the pool? No. But as I sit here bleeding over the fact that the job I wanted was given to someone else, who might also need to make up in income for her dad’s recent dismissal from work, I must remember that I can still write for me and for the fun of it. So while my bag is labeled largely with the word “Job Rejection” inside my bag is full of my personal interests: things that I will still keep doing because I am me.
What is sponsoring your day? Unfortunately, today’s pool party at Piscina Pop is sponsored by job rejection. While I may head straight to the bar, it won’t keep me from hosting or bringing a really cute bag for that matter. Your sponsor today might be not be “Job Rejection” rather, “GOP screws it up on the floor” or “I Am A Bad Driver”, and you might find that the contents within your collective baggage, seem heavy for the label that society has put upon it. But the heaviness is worth its weight in gold because it is full of the things that make today’s you, you.
I discovered a new song yesterday called Flamingo by a band called Kero Kero Bonito and i loved it so much so, it made me want to burn a mixed CD. Oh the daysss when that was popular- what fun. Sadly, unless you have stacks of itunes gift cards that you can use to legally download each and every song you need, you resort to making playlists.
Flamingo by Kero Kero Bonito reminds me of being young and playing on my Sega Dreamcast with my brother. The song is a video game, it is so silly. Next we have Grimes because she adds more hot pink to this “i am young doing what i can” theme at tonight’s jacuzzi party in the rain.
I added an aggregate of four songs before I remembered the XX came out with a new album on Friday the 13th that I HAD YET TO LISTEN TO. Amazing how life can get in the way of your hobbies. Unless you are Sho Reist and just did not seek to listen to the new xx album. Actually, that is extreme- She did listen, just simply “[does] not vibe”…?!? Break my heart why dont you?! Like when my other friend Katinka told me she does not care for Radiohead… Sobbing internally over that still.
Our closing hymn is ‘Test Me’ from the new xx album. It’s quiet and somber but holy moly the end is so obviously touched by Jamie xx, i just cannot NOT add it to a jacuzzi playlist. This is a song to zone out to the stars to. (While being in the jacuzzi lol). While the xx’s new album is quite appropriate for gloomy weather, exactly what we are having here in Seattle, this PLAYLIST is for jacuzzi parties in the rain. Enjoi ^__^
1. Flamingo by Kero Kero Bonito
2. Kill V. Maim by Grimes
3. Dangerous by The xx
4. Shut Up Kiss Me by Angel Olsen
5. Bambro Koyo Ganda by Bonobo
6. Test Me by The xx
It has been a while since I have written. I have been feeling totally shitty the past couple of weeks, usually contingent with a crippling fear that I have of producing something that is not magnificent. And the more I dilute this, the more I think the fear stems from not being able to express myself authentically. I already know how totally time and energy wasting this mentality is because in not attempting, you already fail. So, after going on a short walk today, during what is a quintessential October day with the sun shining and a prominent breeze undressing the trees, I feel compelled about going through what happened on a recent day where I decided to wear all of my favorite pieces in one outfit.
Everything just seemed to be going wrong and on this day I said to hell with this spoiled child mentality! I have truly nothing to complain about besides maybe nose-diving estrogen levels. I am seizing the day by throwing away any preconceived notions of what makes a presentable outfit by wearing my favorite shirt, my favorite pair of bottoms, my favorite jacket and my favorite shoes, and dismissing if any of it makes sense. When all else is failing, why not turn to your favorite favorites. At least my favorite jacket likes me :’).
Starting from the shoes up, I wore my black block heels that lace up the ankle. Super uncomfortable but only because I recently epiphanized the fact that maybe I was not actually a size 7 1/2 but instead, a magical 8. Whatever. Slightly uncomfortable but- to hell with that too! My favorite pants are nothing other than my hot pink ones from H&M. I am not a big fan of wearing pink but this color is the color of my light saber when I am just feeling monstrous. My favorite shirt is my Paris, Je t’aime white tee. The writing is in blue cursive with a big red heart and a blue Tour Eiffel to iconographically, say everything I am thinking when I am feeling lousy. I wish I was in Paris.
To keep me warm, I wore my furry, ivory varsity jacket. Hair went in a high bun and I said to hell with earrings too. I felt emotionally exposed, unable to shake off this lousiness and bearing my ears naked felt true to my core.
While there was no game changing moment the day I wore this outfit other than a couple compliments here and there about my favorite jacket, I felt like shocking people was okay. One of my favorite customers Nancy, called me a riot one time and on this day I felt it was exceptionally okay to be that. My outfit was loud, so I had every right to be totally blunt and unfiltered on this day. I was just truthfully, unapologetically myself regardless the discomfort that came when I refused to play off awkward moments. I did not pressure myself to act purely angelic or severely outgoing, just present with the rooted belief that there is no way I want to stray from being good to people and that is enough.